Top Thirty Facts about... Jack Bauer
I got this in an e-mail forward from BubbaRay, and it was too funny not to post. Kudos to whomever wrote this...
Top Thirty Facts about... Jack Bauer
You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Every time you masturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not because you masturbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
Jack Bauer let the dogs out.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer ####### hates lemonade.
The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.
When you open a can of whoop-###, Jack Bauer jumps out.
People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.
Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better ####### do it.
The real reason the Army ditched the Army of One campaign? Jack Bauer sued for copyright infringement.
Top Thirty Facts about... Jack Bauer
You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Every time you masturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not because you masturbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
Jack Bauer let the dogs out.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer ####### hates lemonade.
The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.
When you open a can of whoop-###, Jack Bauer jumps out.
People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.
Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better ####### do it.
The real reason the Army ditched the Army of One campaign? Jack Bauer sued for copyright infringement.
posted by GoodTimesDad at 7:56 AM
1 Comments:
You need to go to this site.
http://www.4q.cc/
There are facts for chuck norris, vin diesel, and Mr. T.
Here is a sample:
Chuck Norris was originally casted as Tony Montana in the movie Scarface. When Chuck first said the line, "Fuck you meng," the director immidiately pissed his pants. He was then greeted with a roundhouse kick to the orbital bone and Chuck Norris was thrown off the set.
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